Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
