the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
