i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
