lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
