11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
they need to just BURY HIM!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
