It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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