hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
