she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
