Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
