Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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