Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
