She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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