You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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