My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
