it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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