Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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