nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
