yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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