Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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