His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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