where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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