I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
