Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
