I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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