if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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