So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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