So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm like, not good at living.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
