All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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