i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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