forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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