I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
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We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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