Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just googled if crying burns calories
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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