You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
