Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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