I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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