i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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