The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
