why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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