I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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