I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
