Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
