God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
