just survived the first fart of the relationship.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
