I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
