i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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