Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize