So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
