You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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