Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
