people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
