ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
