don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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