Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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