Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
