Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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