did you get engaged???
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
