this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
