He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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