the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
