I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
