so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
