i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
