but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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