no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
