is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
