yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
